The Soul Sorority

go ahead, cheat a little.

When it comes to life, there are advantages to playing it safe. The middle of the road is usually bullet proof. No chance of falling off a cliff or getting hit by a car. Playing it safe means life will most likely never be cruel. You will have a roof over your head, food on your table and a decent wardrobe. You will know the best restaurant to get sushi and the movie theater with the least crowded parking lot. You will be comfortable. Kind of like a nice 70 degrees, all the time. Every day, the sky will be clear and the weather calm. No thunderstorms in sight.

The only problem with that concept is that thunderstorms usually lead to beautiful, clean, fresh-smelling streets and the chance you could see Nature put on a wicked lightning show. Falling off a cliff might drop you into an amazing ocean, of a soft patch of grass where you could roll around for awhile. You might decide, one day, to walk past that decent sushi joint, and when you do, just two more blocks, you smell a mouth-watering Italian restaurant with the best garlic bread you've ever tasted in your life. And you might not even know you are a garlic bread girl.

Playing it safe is fine. There is nothing wrong with playing it safe. It's understandable and respectable. But sometimes, cheating on safe with a little adventure is fine, too. No one will tell.

Women of the world.

I am a huge believer in travel. I don't do it as often as I would like, but I dream about it constantly. I've found that anytime I travel, I learn more about myself than when I'm stuck in my routine at home, and I learn more about the world and how I am just a tiny, tiny speck in it. Travel is humbling, satisfying and like pizza...or, as my manfriend says, sex: Even when it's bad, it's good. Even if you have a nightmare experience, you come back with the smart, witty "I can't believe that happened" stories to tell all your friends for months, (maybe even years!), to come.

But traveling SOLO? You mean, without your family, friends or a luvah by your side? Yes. Traveling solo is exhilarating. You pick your schedule, you pick what you want to see (No beer museums for me, not on this trip, thank you very much), you meet new people and create your own adventures. Traveling solo gives you such a sense of confidence, too, this sexy, "I-am-a-world-traveler" swagger, that can't be found or bought at your nearest Cost Plus store.

Here's a list of top travel destinations for women traveling solo:

• Europe
• Australia
• New Zealand
• Canada
• India
• Morocco
• Iceland
• Vietnam

Satisfy your curiosity here.

Stripping, continued...

Keeping in the same vein as a previous post, where we talked about the benefits of failing and stripping away the inessential, I thought it best to continue with J.K. Rowling's wise words.

In the Harvard commencement speech, she says:

"some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default."

HELLO! Seriously. Sometimes I look at myself and laugh, because in my early 20s, I wouldn't say I was fearless, but I did have bigger cojones that I've had in the last year or two. In my early 20s, I took risks. I applied for things out of my league...and found success. I stepped out of my comfort zone, and almost every time I did, I loved who I became in the process. It wasn't until my MID-20s that I started tiptoeing through life. Why? I don't know. Probably because I had a decent job, rent, and this ideal that I was supposed to be responsible. Even if it meant suffocating. Mind you, I'm probably one of the most responsible people you'll ever meet. I'm early for deadlines. I pay my taxes. I don't rip the labels off mattresses.

But, being responsible doesn't mean you're supposed to shy away from change. Even the most calculated people can take risks, responsibly. How, you list-making, five-year-plan people may ask? Easy.

Start devoting one chunk of your week to something out of the ordinary. Take one afternoon, or a half-day on a weekend, and go do something that doesn't fall into the five-year-plan, but that just...sounds...SO...FUN. Say YES to something you would normally say NO to. Don't try and figure out HOW yet. You'll figure out the logistics later. Just say yes. I promise, it will be worth it.

Slow down...

My dad told me something very wise a few years ago.

"Sharon," he said, in his broken English. "Good ideas never come when you're busy. They come when you have time to think, when your head is clear and they can find their way to the top."

He meant (I think) that when you stay busy, busy, busy, and you fill your mind with to-do lists and schedules, you're so exhausted by the end of the day that you have no time to grow or explore. You just...exist. Every day bleeds into the next, and suddenly, it's five years later and your to-do list is longer and your days are shorter and you've been running the same race for as long as you can remember, crossing the finish line and turning right around to run it all over again.

This comes from my dad, who doesn't believe in vacations. He believes in Work 24/7. He doesn't know how to relax or rest. I think that was his way of telling me to slow down. His way of telling me that I can't figure out what I need, what makes me thrive, if I am always running, running, running.

I'm trying, dad.

All work and no play...

First of all, Happy Father's Day to everyone :)

My dad immigrated to the United States from Israel when he was 21 years old, armed with nothing but a vision of the American Dream. He struggled -- a lot -- before starting a company that proved to be successful after years of perseverance.

His motto goes something like this: Work, work, work and more work. And then work.

He worked, and still works, 24/7. No rest for the weary. His DNA is partly to blame -- some people, no matter their age, size or education level, are prone to be workaholics -- and his generation also bears some of the responsibility. For Baby Boomers, "finding your dream job" is a load of crap. BS. Your dream job is the one that brings home the bacon, you know?

But for OUR generation, the generation of introspective, philosophical, speak-your-mind Generation X-Yers, not living your dream is preposterous. Nonsense! We will never be satisfied with working just to work. We want passion. We want fulfillment. We want bacon AND heart.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. I guess I wonder which generation is more on target...

Box up the past.

I read a fantastic article in the June issue of O Mag, that talked about the power of organizing, and how it can help you shed the shackles of your past when you're trying to move forward. I used to think that the physical environment did not affect my emotional, or spiritual self, but I am starting to believe I'm wrong. (It ain't the first time.) I think if you subconsciously hold onto your past as you're trying to grow, you stay rooted in your old identity and you never give yourself the chance to bloom into something new.

Here's an excerpt. It's written by Julie Morgenstern, author of, "When Organizing Isn't Enough." Morgenstern was an ambitious theater student before leaving that profession to start a successful small business.

"In my work with clients, I've found that without a framework, most of us stumble blindly through transitions. For example, if you think of every object or activity as a treasure and can't bring yourself to heave, you won't free any space for growth. If you value nothing from the past and always jump straight to the heave stage, you'll end up leaving some wonderful gems behind and feel empty. When you don't re-connect with your identity, it's easy to get caught up in someone else's vision of who you are. And if you're afraid to move forward, you'll stagnate in the present, limiting your ability (and opportunity) to achieve the change you want."

Tomorrow -- change, continued...

Octopus syndrome.

I recently underwent six months of what I would like to call Octopus Syndrome.

The syndrome occurs when, like an octopus, you outstretch your arms in nearly a dozen different directions. Feeling stuck and uninspired in my life, and bitter at the things I was doing not because I WANTED to, but because I felt like I SHOULD, I threw myself several different ways, hoping to get re-energized.

Great idea? Sure…in theory. But I found that in doing eight different things, I couldn’t do a SINGLE thing well.

There was my full-time job as a journalist; my part-time job as a competitive dance teacher; my marketing certification class; my Web design course; and my internship. Yes, that’s right. At 28, I signed up for an internship.

On top of my full-time job. And part-time job. And two college courses.

What the hell was I thinking?

I wasn’t. I felt stuck, so I grasped at everything I could, hoping to get UNSTUCK, and in doing that, I couldn’t commit to anything. Octopus syndrome. It’ll get ya.

The lesson: While you might be able to SURVIVE everything, do you give yourself room to THRIVE in anything?